Jack and the Beanstalk
by Smarty 94
Summary: When Gosalyn breaks her leg; Spongebob tells her a comical take of Jack and the Beanstalk to make her feel better.
1. The Story Starts

In Gosalyn's bedroom; the duck who had a cast on a leg was relaxing on her bed while playing Grand Theft Auto on Xbox One.

"Die, die, die. This game is awesome." said Gosalyn.

Spongebob who was watching everything outside the room shook his head.

"Such a disturbing duck, I'm sure she's been sneaking a bunch of views of Samurai Jack season 5." said Spongebob.

He walked into the room and unplugged the tv.

Gosalyn became mad.

"Hey." said Gosalyn.

SpongeBob smiled.

"Nice to see you to." said Spongebob, "How's the leg?"

"Still broken, but at least I'll be able to get some time off of school." said Gosalyn.

"Oh yeah, a bad thing happens, something good comes out of it." said Spongebob.

He chuckled.

"I remember when I got a splinter." He said, "Bad at first, but then some good came from it. Kind of like how it went with that whole Jack and that huge beanstalk incident."

Gosalyn became confused.

"Beanstalk?" said Gosalyn.

"Well since you asked. The whole Jack and the Beanstalk story has a bunch of bad things happen, but good came from the bad stuff." said Spongebob.

The scene then changed to some type of farm land; there was a bunch of farm work being done.

Vegetables were being picked, cows were being milked, and pigs were being fed.

" _All throughout the land, farmers kept everyone eating and healthy. One such farm which had our hero Jack was about to become very fortunate._ " Spongebob narrated.

At one farm; Jack who looked like Sonic was relaxing on a porch playing an electric guitar.

"I moved out to Langley recently with a plain and simple dream, want to infiltrate some third world place and topple their regime." Jack sang.

" _Wait, why is there modern technology?_ " Gosalyn said over the story.

" _For the sake of humor purposes._ " said Spongebob.

Jack continued to sing as three of his roommates who looked like Lincoln, Lynn, and Bugs Bunny walked over to him with buckets full of milk.

"Still lazing around?" said the eleven year old.

"Nope, waiting for an important call on if I'll be promoted." said Jack.

A phone rang and Jack ran off.

He went to a room where an old school 1910's wall phone was ringing and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" said Jack.

A bunch of smoke came out of the speaking end, causing Jack to cough before hanging up.

The rabbit and boy appeared.

"Who was it?" said the rabbit.

"The fire department." said Jack.

The other two became shocked.

"Seriously?" said the rabbit.

Jack nodded as the phone rang again.

The girl appeared and grabbed the phone.

"Hello?" said the girl.

A bunch of laser blasts came out of the speaking end, causing the girl to hang up.

"Who was it?" said Jack.

"George Lucas and J. J Abrams." said the girl.

Another roommate who looked like Randy Cunningham appeared.

"Dude, we've got a problem." said the teenager.

Everyone turned to the teen.

"What is it?" said Jack.

The teen pulled out a newspaper with an article that said 'Stock market crashes'.

Everyone is shocked by that.

"That ain't good." said the girl.

"With the stock market crashed, it'll be a breakdown of social order." said the eleven year old.

The rabbit became confused.

"Aren't you all over reacting?" said the rabbit.

Almost in an instant, the whole setting turned into a desert like apocalypse and the group was dressed up like characters from Mad Max complete with skin tight black leather jumpsuits.

The rabbit became confused and saw that he was wearing a black leather jumpsuit.

"Welcome to the apocalypse Barry. I hope you like leather." said Jack.

"Not really." the rabbit known as Barry said.

" _It was true, the stock market crashed and the land suffered because of it._ " Spongebob narrated.

In a corn field; all the corn plants were dried up.

" _All the vegetation turned into dust._ "

The corn plants turned into dust.

A lake started to dry up.

" _The lakes dried up to nothing_."

A bunch of farm animals started to sicken and die.

" _All the farm animals started to die._ "

Eventually all the farms started to fall apart.

" _It all happened because America elected a pigeon who had a hair due similar to Donald Trump's._ "

At the White House; Toby the Pigeon laughed.

"Yes, my plan is going into effect. With the stock market crashing, everyone will go broke, and I'll be the only rich person in the country." Tody Pigeon said.

He continued to laugh as the scene changed back to Gosalyn's bedroom.

"Putting that pigeon in office was a bad idea." said Gosalyn, "Even in real life."

"So what's weird is that there's talking underpants." said SpongeBob.

He then stood up.

"Well, I'd better get to work, I'll tell you the rest of the story when I return home." said Spongebob.

He then walked out of the room.


	2. The Magic Beans

Gosalyn was playing Grand Theft Auto having plugged the TV back in when Spongebob came into the room with a Taco Bell bag and placed it on the duck's nightstand.

"Well, I'm back with the rest of the story." said Spongebob.

Gosalyn paused the game.

"Let it out." said Gosalyn.

"Anywho, the land was drying up, and the residents were dressed up like a bunch of bikers." said Spongebob.

The scene changed to the same farm land and went over to some small cottage that Jack and his roommates were occupying.

Inside; the five who had grown beards were sitting around a table with their stomach's growling.

The eleven year old became mad and took off his beard, revealing that it was fake.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! We've gone without food for three days, and these fake beards aren't even helping." said the eleven year old.

The group took off their fake beards but the girl screamed in pain.

"Oh right, I grew this one for reals." said the girl.

Everyone shook their heads.

"Linda, Linda, Linda, Linda." said Jack.

"Do us a favor Jack, trade the cow for some money so that we can buy some food." said Barry.

Jack became confused.

"Why can't we just eat the cow. I've already got it chalked up for steaks." said Jack.

Outside the cottage; their only surviving cow had chalk all over her body.

"Mooooooooo." said the cow.

Inside; everyone just stared at Jack.

"Because you can't even pull any weight, not even when we had the farm, and this'll be the chance to prove how useful you are." said the teenage boy.

"No absolutely not." said Jack.

Later; Jack was walking down a road with the same cow.

"Rats, I told them I didn't want to do this." said Jack.

He sighed.

"Guess this is how I'm to be tortured for being lazy." said Jack.

He then saw some guy who looked like the Joker.

"Greetings fair sir, I see you're taking that cow to a slaughter house." said the clown.

"No, the market." said Jack.

The man nodded.

"I see." said the man and smiled. "Hey you hungry?"

Jack nodded.

"Well I have some food." He said and took out a chili dog and fries, "Been saving it for myself but you look like you need it more."

"No, I'll trade you the cow for some beans." said the clown.

Jack became confused.

"Beans?" said Jack.

The man pulled out five beans.

"Not just any beans, these are magic beans." said the man.

Jack did some thinking.

"No absolutely not, the last time someone pulled something like that on me, I spent a whole week-" Jack said before turning and seeing that the man and the cow were gone, "Rats."

He looked down and saw the beans.

"It'll be the chair for me." said Jack.

He saw the chili dog and fries as well.

"Aw well." He said and took them and went home.

Later; Jack had told the whole story to his roommates.

"So this clown stole the cow and left you with beans without your consent?" said Barry.

"Exactly. He also claimed that the beans were magic." said Jack.

"What'd you do with those beans?" said Linda.

"I planted them just to prove that jerk was a fraud as evidence." said Jack.

Everyone is mad.

"But at least we have the chilly dog and fries." said Jack.

Everyone nodded.

"Good enough." said the purple haired teen.

The group started eating the food.

Later; the five were in a bedroom with only three beds.

Barry was on one bed, the teen boy and eleven year old were on one bed, and Jack and Linda were in one bed.

"The worst part about now being on the poverty level is that now we have to share beds with each other." said the eleven year old.

"Tell me about it Levi." said the purple haired teen.

Jack then farted and pulled the blanket over Linda.

"DUTCH OVEN!" yelled Jack.

Linda screamed in shock.

Jack laughed before removing the blanket from over Linda.

"Rude." said Linda.

"You did that to me last night." said Jack.

Levi then farted.

"OH GROSS!" yelled the purple haired teen.

Everyone groaned.

The five then started farting for 5 minutes before falling asleep.

" _That night however, the beans that Jack got from that con artist started to grow into something magical._ " Spongebob narrated.

Outside the cottage; a plant started to sprout before growing into a beanstalk, eventually the stalk started to grow bigger and bigger.

The next day; everyone was still asleep as an alarm clock shaped like a pink cat struck 7:00 and started going off.

The clock started laughing.

"Happy Cat say time to wake up." the clock said before laughing again.

Levi groaned and pushed the snooze button.

The clock however laughed some more.

"You want peace and quiet, too bad." the clock said before it resumed laughing.

Levi grabbed he clock.

"HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" the clock shouted.

Levi then tossed the clock out of the cottage.

He then went back to sleep, but the clock returned to the room.

"Fools, you can never stop me, I'll always wake you up no matter what you do. Also there's a giant beanstalk outside." said the clock.

Everyone is shocked and ran to the beanstalk and crushed the clock

"Ow." He said.

The five looked up in shock.

"What the juice?" said the purple haired teen.

"Wow, that guy was right. The beans were magical." said Jack.

"Let's go up." said the rabbit

"Now hold on, we don't know what's up there." said the purple haired teen.

"Reggie's right, odds are the minute we get to the top, we'll fall off the stalk and to the ground." said Linda.

"We'd better take a vote to see who's to go up there first, I vote Jack." said Levi.

"I demand a recount." said Jack.

"No one asked you. One reason is because you brought those beans back here. The second reason is that you're the fastest one here." said Barry.

"What's the third reason?" said Jack.

"You're lazy." said Reggie.

Jack looked up the beanstalk and ran up it very fast before returning.

"We're looking at a one day journey if we go at once, only a few seconds if I take each of us up to the top separately." said Jack.

His friends knew he was right and nodded at that.

"Jack makes a good point." said the female.

"What did you see up in the sky?" said Levi.

"Well other then a giant castle, nothing else." said Jack.

Everyone became shocked.

"A giant castle?" said Barry.

"Yeah, it looked like Queen Elsa's ice palace." said Jack.

Everyone is shocked and the clock laughed.

"You dick that's stupid." He said.

Linda turned to the clock.

"Shut up." said Linda.

"Shut up yourself." said the clock.

Reggie pulled out a shotgun and shot the clock, badly destroying it.

"Not broken." said the clock.

Everyone growled.

Jack grabbed Reggie and ran up the beanstalk with him before returning and taking Linda up the stalk.

The clock fixed it self and went up the stalk

Later; everyone was at the top of the beanstalk and were looking at a castle that sure enough looked like Queen Elsa's Ice Palace.

"Wow." said Levi.

"That castle is ugly and Frozen sucks. I wanted Hans to kill Elsa and Anna." said the clock and laughed.

Jack then kicked the clock down the beanstalk and it started falling to the ground before it hit the ground, creating a nuclear explosion.

"That was one annoying clock." said Jack.

"It reminded me of Aku in the first four seasons of Samurai Jack." said Barry.

"Yeah and that cat face made it ugly." said Jack.

"Save the chit chat for later, right now we need to get to this huge castle." said Levi, "And don't get me started on that recent episode of Samurai Jack either."

Everyone became confused.

"You've been watching a season of a kids show that was meant for older audiences?" said Reggie.

Levi nodded.

"Pretty sure this is why your parent's told you to wait till you were old enough for a good show." said Reggie.

"And have the show not be on anymore?" Levi asked.

"Don't worry, it's available for download on iTunes, Google Play Store, and hopefully it'll be released on DVD and or Blu Ray." said Jack.

"I just got one thing to say about that recent episode. It's about time." said Linda.

The scene then changed back to Gosalyn's bedroom.

"So the group wound up literally up in the clouds looking at a castle." said Spongebob.

Gosalyn is shocked.

"Really?" said Gosalyn.

Spongebob nodded.

The duck is shocked.

"Wow." She said


	3. Mervin the Giant

Gosalyn and Spongebob had finished up eating their Taco Bell meal.

"Now lets see, everyone's now broke due to the stock market crash, Jack was swindled out of his cow for some beans which turned out to be magical, and the five are now in the clouds." said Spongebob.

The scene changed back to the clouds with the five friends walking towards the castle.

" _Quick question what are the five people's name's again and who do they look like again_?" asked the duck.

" _The hedgehog's Jack, the eleven year old albino's Levi, the athletic girl's Linda, the purple haired teen's Reggie, and the rabbit's Barry._ " Spongebob said.

" _Oh okay._ " said Gosalyn.

"Look, that ending scene didn't go well with the fans. They were hoping for a father daughter like relationship, but got a romantic one. I was hoping for a romantic one, but it surprised me when it actually happened." said Jack.

Reggie groaned.

"Seriously that's crazy." said Barry.

"Says the guy who still watches Sesame Street." said Jack.

"Hey at least we had HBO until the stock market crash." said Barry.

"That was days ago." said Jack.

He then bumped into the door of the castle and looked up.

He and his friends became shocked.

"Let's just hope that whoever lives here doesn't have a big cat." said Linda.

"Agreed." said Jack.

The five crawled under the door and looked around the place to see that everything was gigantic.

"So who lives here?" said Reggie.

"Maybe Arnold Schwarzenegger." said Levi.

"I'd say Lou Ferrigno." said Barry.

"Maybe Brad Garrett." said Jack.

"Or even John Cena." said Linda.

Jack jumped on a giant chair before jumping on a table to see tons of food.

He stared on in shock.

"Santa chihuahua, my prayers have been answered." said Jack.

His friends were confused.

They climbed up the table and saw tons of food and became shocked.

"FOOD!" yelled Reggie.

Linda jumped into a huge meatball marinara sub sandwich.

"THIS IS GOOD!" She shouted and turned to Jack, "Nice going Jack."

Jack chuckled.

"I know, sometimes the mistakes I make have good consequences." said Jack.

Reggie grabbed a chunk of cake and ate it.

"Agree Jack. For once your laziness helped." said Reggie.

Everyone kept on eating tons of food and after a while they stopped eating due to being full and their bellies sticking out.

The five groaned.

"So good." said Levi.

"I don't think I can eat anymore." said Barry.

The five then heard a booming sound.

They became shocked.

"What was that?" said Linda.

"Either there's a thunderstorm coming, or this is actually Tokyo." said Jack.

Everyone looked at Jack with a crazy look.

"How could there be a thunderstorm here? We're in the clouds." said Levi.

The booming sound continued on and the group ran off and hid underneath a couch as a giant who looked like Eggman entered the room.

"FE, FI, FO, FUM, I SMELL THE BLOOD OF FIVE FREELOADERS!" yelled the giant.

The giant looked around the room.

The five friends looked at the giant in shock.

"Wow look at that guy." said Reggie.

"Yeah, his arms and chest are bigger then his legs." said Levi, "That doesn't seem natural."

"Agreed." said Barry

"Amazing." said Linda.

"I'm amazed he's shaped like an egg." said Jack.

The giant sighed and walked off.

"We've got to get out of here." said Jack.

Everyone else nodded.

"There won't be any escape for you." said a voice.

The five became confused.

"Who said that?" said Levi.

A bird that looked like Iago flew onto Levi's shoulder.

"Me." said the bird.

Jack was shocked.

"A talking chicken." said Jack.

The bird became mad.

"Hey, hey, hey, parrot, I'm a parrot. I don't cluck day and night." said the parrot.

Everyone nodded.

"Fair enough." said Barry.

"What're you doing here anyways?" said Reggie.

"Well this giant kidnapped me a long time ago from your world." said the parrot.

 **Flashback**

In the Amazon; the same parrot but as a baby was sitting in a nest.

"Mama." said the parrot.

A thundering sound was heard as a shadow was cast over the jungle.

The parrot became confused.

"Mama?" said the parrot.

He looked around and gulped.

 **End Flashback**

"Wait, how'd the giant get below the clouds in the first place?" said Reggie.

"You planted some magic beans right?" said the parrot.

"I did." said Jack.

"Where do you think the beans came from?" said the parrot, "Up here."

The five friends became shocked.

"What?" said Linda.

"Yeah, Mervin-"the parrot said before being interrupted by Jack.

"Wait a minute, Mervin?" said Jack.

"Yeah, the name of the giant." said the parrot.

Everyone just stared at the parrot before Jack bursted out laughing.

"The giant is named Mervin? What a stupid name." Jack said before he resumed laughing.

"Agreed." said Barry.

The other four started laughing.

"Zip it you." said the parrot.

Everyone stopped laughing and turned to the parrot.

"Mervin had a huge supply of magic beans, luckily I got rid of them just last week before he can steal anything else from your home." said the parrot.

Everyone is shocked.

"Um that's a problem." said Jack.

The parrot looked at the group.

"The beanstalk is still up isn't it?" said the parrot.

Everyone nodded.

"Dude, you're going to have to leave here fast, and make sure the giant doesn't return to your home ever again." said the parrot.

"Are you nuts?" asked Jack. "Everyone is starving down there."

"And there's a cold blooded giant up here." said the parrot, "Which is worst?"

"Starvation." said Linda.

The parrot groaned.

"We'd better find some gold and get out of here." said Levi.

The parrot scoffed.

"Good luck, this place is like a maze, you'll never find that stuff." said the parrot.

He looked out from under the couch.

"Unless I go with you." said parrot.

Everyone became shocked.

"That's crazy talk, we can't just go out in the open like that. Mervin's got good smell." said Levi.

"No, not really. He's just says that every half hour." said the parrot.

Barry became confused.

"How so?" said Barry.

"He lost his sense of smell a month ago due to his bad body odor and believes that five freeloaders have been in here ever since." said the parrot.

"FE, FI, FO, FUM, I SMELL THE BLOOD OF FIVE FREELOADERS!" yelled Mervin.

Everyone is shocked.

The Giant sniffed again but shrugged.

"Maybe it's my imagination." He said and sat down. "Time to eat."

"See what I mean?" said the parrot.

A gold coin fell out of Mervin's pocket and landed on the floor close to the heroes.

Everyone saw the coin.

Jack walked out into the open and grabbed the coin before returning under the couch.

Everyone looked at him.

"You must have been crazy to pull that off." said the parrot.

"Crazy and lazy." said Sonic.

A dinging sound was heard.

"And you just rhymed crazy with lazy. Here's what you win." said Barry.

Reggie pulled out DVD copies of the first four season's of Samurai Jack.

"The first four seasons of Samurai Jack." said Reggie.

"What no fifth season where Samurai Jack and that new character Ashi wind up making out at the end of episode eight?" said Jack.

Levi groaned.

"We still talking about the fact that the samurai and Ashi are now in love with each other?" said Levi.

"Would you rather talk about the newly developed relationship by former enemies, or the fact that the Cult of Aku High Priestess decided to save money for clothes by having her daughters jump into a bunch of hot coal and ashes?" said Linda.

Levi did some thinking.

"Relationship between former enemies." said Levi.

Jack nodded.

"That was quite the discussion on the internet." said Jack.

The parrot coughed.

"The gold." said the parrot.

Everyone realized everything that was going on.

"Oh right." said Reggie.

The scene changed back to Gosalyn's bedroom.

"I can see where this is going." said Gosalyn.

"Same here, and I'm the one who's telling the story." said Spongebob.


	4. Stealing Treasure

Gosalyn was getting her teeth brushed by Spongebob.

The sponge stopped brushing and picked up a bucket.

"Now spit." said Spongebob.

Gosalyn spat out the toothpaste and sipped up some water before swishing it around in her mouth and spitting it out as well.

"The rest of the story?" said Gosalyn.

The scene changed back to Mervin the Giant's castle where the parrot was flying through the castle and reached a door before tapping on it.

The heroes appeared.

"This is it, the room where Mervin keep's all his stolen goods." said the parrot.

Everyone nodded.

The parrot pushed the door open and everyone noticed tons of silver, gold, platinum, and diamonds.

The group stared on in shock as tons of loud orchestra music started playing.

Levi noticed a record player playing a record and removed the record causing the music to stop before the eleven year old broke it in half.

"This is a lot of treasure." said Linda, "More then what Scrooge McDuck and Bruce Wayne could get combined."

Everyone turned to Linda.

"Dude, you can't just go talking about somebody like that. Cause every time someone does that, then the person that you're talking about will sneeze." said Jack.

Linda scoffed.

"That's ludicrous." said Linda.

At a casino; Scrooge McDuck and Bruce Wayne were playing Blackjack when they both sneezed.

The two looked around.

But they shrugged it off before going back to their game.

Back at the giant's castle; Jack picked up a sapphire and inspected it.

"This looks like a good gem." said Jack.

"Better get packing." said Barry.

The group nodded and started grabbing treasure, but then Jack thought of something.

"Hold on." said Jack.

He ran off and returned with five backpacks and gave four of them to his friends.

"We'll fill these up and I'll take them back to the ground one at a time." said Jack.

Everyone was shocked by Jack's idea.

"Seriously?" said Reggie.

"Why not, it'll only take half an hour." said Jack.

The group shook their heads before they began filling their backpacks with treasure.

Jack managed to fill his backpack before running off and returning with the backpack empty and resumed refilling it.

The parrot is shocked.

"Wow that was fast." said the parrot.

Jack chuckled.

"You should see me when I'm trying." said Jack.

"Yeah, you should." said Barry.

The parrot became confused.

"When is that?" said the parrot.

"Never, all he ever did was sit on his lazy butt doing nothing." said Linda.

 **Flashback**

Jack was sitting on a chair playing Pokemon Sun on a New 3DS.

"Gotta get a Turtonator." said Jack.

He then smirked.

"A shiny one." He said.

His friends saw this and sighed.

"Lazy." said Reggie.

"He can never pull his weight." said Levi.

 **End Flashback**

"At least I got that shiny Turtonator." said Jack, "Can we just keep on filling these bags?"

Everyone continued to fill the backpacks with gold.

"By the way, that recent episode of Samurai Jack was nothing, those internet people have no idea what they're complaining about. Nickelodeon already did that with the final of Avatar the Last Airbender." said Jack.

"Yeah, the fans thought that it was one thing to have an avatar who is 112 years old kissing a 14 year old, but they start to flip out when a 25 year old who hasn't aged for fifty years makes out with someone the same age as he is. That's hypocritical." said Linda.

"Hypocrites." said Barry.

Later; the six were back at their cottage and had it stuffed with all the treasure they stole.

"Nice, we'll be back in business real soon." said Reggie.

"Okay, now to just chop this beanstalk down." said the parrot.

"Not yet." said Jack.

Everyone became shocked.

"What now?" said Levi.

"There could be more treasure up in that castle. I'll go on ahead and check it out, if I'm not back in five minutes, start chopping the beanstalk down." said Jack.

He ran up the plant.

Barry pulled out a trumpet and started playing a sad tune on it.

Everyone looked at him mad.

"What?" He asked, "He might not make it back."


	5. Chopping the Beanstalk

Back at Mervin the Giant's home; he was on a couch sleeping when Jack ran by and entered the treasure room and looked around.

The hedgehog saw a gold key attached to a harness and emerald and approached the two.

He picked up the gold key and inspected it.

"Nice." said Jack.

He put the key on his back and picked up the emerald.

"This'll do." said Jack.

He walked out of the room and saw the sleeping Mervin.

"Can't take any chances with this guy." said Jack.

He walked to Mervin's feet and started tying his shoelaces together.

Jack eventually finished up.

"Perfect." said Jack.

He jumped off the couch and walked towards the front door but accidentally burped before covering his mouth.

Mervin slowly woke up in shock.

"Huh, what, who, where?" said Mervin.

Jack saw this and ran under the couch.

Mervin looked all over the place.

He started to walk off, but quickly tripped and fell on the ground.

Mervin groaned and looked at his feet to see his shoe laces were tied together.

Jack started to run off, but Mervin noticed him and became mad.

"HEY!" yelled Mervin.

Jack saw the giant and is shocked.

"Uh oh." said Jack.

He continued to run off just as Mervin started untying his shoelaces and retied them before running after Jack with a mace in hand.

Jack reached a grass land, but Mervin grabbed a clump of ground that the teenage hedgehog was on and lifted it off the ground.

The Giant smirked

"I'll eat you boy." he said.

Jack noticed a stone and picked it up before tossing it in Mervin's right eye.

The giant screamed in pain and dropped Jack before placing his hands over his eyes.

"MY EYE!" yelled the giant.

Back on the ground; Barry walked out of the cottage with three axes and approached the beanstalk where Reggie and Linda were waiting.

"It's been five minutes." said Barry.

The other two nodded.

"Better get chopping." said Linda.

The three started hacking away at the beanstalk.

Back above the clouds; Mervin was now in a jungle looking for Jack.

"WHERE ARE YOU!?" yelled Mervin.

Jack who was hiding behind a tree saw a vine and ripped if off before tying it around the tree and going to another tree and wrapping it around it.

He then whistled for the giant.

"Right here fatso." said Jack.

Mervin became mad and ran towards Jack, but wound up tripping on the vine.

Jack then ran to the beanstalk and started running down it.

The giant got back up and saw the beanstalk.

He smirked.

"Fool." said Mervin.

He went to the beanstalk and started climbing down it.

Back at the bottom of the stalk; Barry, Reggie, and Linda were still chopping down the beanstalk when Jack returned and ran off but returned with an ax and joined in on the chopping.

"He's on the stalk." said Jack.

Everyone is shocked.

"What now?" said Reggie.

"Less talk, more chopping." said Jack.

The four continued to chop away at the stalk before it started tipping.

They then ran into the cottage as the stalk started falling towards the ground.

The giant noticed it and started screaming.

With the same clown who left Jack with the beans, he was chalking up the cow he stole.

"Sucker, he got some magic beans that were fake this whole time. Once I'm done with this thing, I'll pull the same scam on another victim." the clown said before laughing.

A shadow was cast over him and he noticed it before looking up in shock.

"Oh fu-" the clown said before he was crushed to death by the beanstalk and giant who died upon hitting the ground.

Jack and his friends went to the crash site and are shocked of that happened.

The clown's legs were out of the giant's butt.

"That's something you don't see every day." said the parrot.

The shoes vanished revealing the clown was wearing Barbie socks and the feet curled up and went under the giant.

"Where did the shoes go?" asked Reggie.

Levi who was now wearing the clown's shoes was confused.

"I don't know." said Levi.

He looked down and noticed the shoes before taking them off and throwing them away.

"Now we just have to divide the gold we got and give some of it to wall street so that the stock market can get back on track." said Jack.

Everyone became confused.

"And when we run out of the gold?" said Linda.

"Can't worry about that now." said Jack.

The parrot groaned as his stomach growled.

"Oh no, I don't feel so good. I might have a bowl movement." said the parrot.

He then farted out a ton of golden eggs.

Everyone became shocked by that.

"Wow that's odd." said Barry.

The parrot looked at the golden eggs and became surprised.

"Huh, neat." said the parrot.

"It's better when I say it." said Jack.

He picked up a gold egg and inspected it.

"Hold it." said Gosalyn's voice.

The scene changed back to Gosalyn's bedroom.

"How is that phrase better from Jack?" said Gosalyn.

"It just is." said Spongebob, "I just can't put my finger on it.

Sonic who was in the hallway drank a whole 20 oz bottle of Coca Cola before burping very loudly.

He stopped and sniffed the air.

"Huh, neat." said Sonic.

Spongebob and Gosalyn who were watching became shocked.

"He is right, the phrase does sound better coming from him." said Spongebob.


	6. End of the Story

Spongebob started to finish up the story he was telling.

"So Jack and his friends became very rich, gave up some of the treasure to restore the stock market, and managed to keep everyone well fed. The end." said Spongebob.

He then saw Gosalyn was sleeping on the bed.

The Sponge smiled.

"Such a good kid." said Spongebob.

He walked out of the room.

Outside the mansion; Salem was relaxing on a lawn chair and talking on a telephone.

"Look, you're not getting me. Greed is good, to clarify, greed gets you what you want. NOW GET ME TRUMP ON THE HORN PRONTO!" yelled Salem.

Mumbling sounds were heard from the phone.

"Yes I'll hold." said Salem.

Spongebob walked out the house and became shocked.

"Salem, what's going on here?" said Spongebob.

"I'm trying to get Trump to pay me tons of-"Salem said before being interrupted by Spongebob.

"Not that, this thing." said Spongebob.

The sponge was pointing to a giant beanstalk.

The cat became shocked.

"Wow, didn't know that was there." said Salem.

Spongebob pulled a chainsaw out from one of his holes and started it up before he began cutting the beanstalk down.

He stopped and the vegetation started falling to the ground before it fell on Gwendolyn Tennyson and Kevin Levin's house.

In Norrisville; a cop was writing a ticket for Slimovitz's car which was parked next to a fire hydrant.

The beanstalk then crushed the car.

The cop became shocked by that and noticed another car that wasn't crushed.

He moved the hydrant to the fine car and placed the ticket on the windshield before walking off while whistling.

The beanstalk then crushed McFist's business building.

"VICEROY!" yelled a voice.

At some type of stage; a bunch of preschoolers were watching a live Barney the Dinosaur show.

"I love you, you love me-" Barney sang before being crushed by the beanstalk.

The preschoolers cheered.

"Yay, the dinosaur's dead." said a female preschooler.

At Aku's home; the shape shifting demon was relaxing on a lawn chair.

"Yes, this is the life, moon bathing every night." said Aku.

A shadow was cast over him and he became shocked when he saw the beanstalk was falling towards him.

"Oh fu-"Aku said before being crushed by the beanstalk.

Suddenly; Jack and an eight month pregnant Ashi who were drinking smoothies noticed the beanstalk and became shocked.

"That's something you don't see everyday." said Ashi.

"Yep." Jack said before turning to the end of the beanstalk that Aku was crushed by, "And neither is that."

The two saw Aku's feet sticking out and that he was wearing high heeled ruby slippers.

Jack then removed the shoes from Aku's feet which curled up before going under the beanstalk as the demon groaned.

The two humans became confused and shrugged it off.

The samurai then slipped the slipper's onto Ashi's feet.

"Consider those an early anniversary gift." said Jack.

Ashi blushed.

With a crook he is holding someone hostage.

"Don't call the cops." said the Crook who has a gun out and laughed.

The Beanstalk fell on him.

"Call an ambulance." He said in a hurt voice.

The hostage who was freed due to the beanstalk crushing the crook groaned.

"Make up your mind." said the hostage.

After a while; the beanstalk completely fell down at the mansion to a shocked Salem and Spongebob.

"Wow, that was a very long stalk." said Salem.


End file.
